This is a smaltzy, sentimental alert for all of you who hate blog entries that dripped with personal or emotional stuff. If that's you...then go back to Sharper Iron or some other blog. But if you don't mind a journey down memory lane, then keep reading.
Today, our oldest child graduates from High School. He's ready and raring to go. Me -- I'm of mixed feelings and most of them are of the "Wait!-I'm-not-ready!-Kind." It was just yesterday that we picked him up and brought him home. I'll never forget that he was dressed in a little baby outfit that looked like a tuxedo. We'd prayed and waited for him for SO long. It was love at first sight and he turned our world upside down.
He experienced our new parenting skills personally. The upside down diapers. A bit of "over-protectionism". Probably more spankings than the rest of the kids will ever get. (We tend to mellow with age.) But he also was there for all of our firsts. And those are special and irreplaceable. But this is one first (graduation) that seemed to sneak up on us.
In a few months, Nate will head up to Liberty University to continue his education. I already know that this is going to be the shortest summer in history and I'm truly dreading seeing him go. There's still so much I want to do with him, so much I want to see him learn, so many experiences that I'd planned on having with him.
He teases me sometimes about being clingy and not wanting him to go. I remind him that it is much better for me to dread him leaving home than to be excited about him getting out of the house. Maybe that thought tells you a little bit of how I feel about him and love him.
That said, I'm posting a few photos from his last 18 years in this entry. Tonight, I'll be both the President of his school (Northside Christian Academy) handing him his diploma and Dad -- watching him walk off the stage to a new part of his journey. He'll hear a challenge by my friend, Dr. Charles Pettit, President of Piedmont Baptist College. Tomorrow, we'll honor him with an open house. I'm thankful for these last 18 years and I couldn't be more proud of a son than I am of Nathan.
Love ya, Nate!
Christmas 1990 -- putting his ornaments on the tree...a family tradition.
Christmas 1997 -- the Burrell family is now complete -- Nate, Megan, Katie and Josh
Dressing up for Aunt Audra's wedding!
Standing in our Florida yard with "Nina" (Grandma)
Spending time with the Missouri cousins.
With Dad at his doctoral graduation in Ft. Lauderdale.
With (Great) Grandpa Burrell in one of his last visits.
Fishing with Dad and Captain Brian on Lake Okeechobee.
At the beach -- lots of good times and great memories.
Dad and Nate checking out the waves.
Dad and Nate checking out Yosemite on Nate's 13th Birthday Trip.
Before skateboarding came roller blading.
"Farmer" Nathan with Megan and the chickens in Florida.
Basketball has been his love since he was a toddler.
At the Junior/Senior Banquet with his very sweet and wonderful girlfriend, Catherine who also graduates tonight.|W|P|114867079821408017|W|P|My Son....the Graduate|W|P|jdpettus@gmail.com
Cindy Swanson|W|P|If this is schmaltzy, I guess I love schmaltz! You have a fine young man there, Dan. I remember how it felt when our firstborn, Jonathan, graduated and went off to Cedarville. Letting go is wrenching, but it's exciting to see your children begin to live out God's plan for their lives. Thanks for sharing these lovely pictures and the heart of a loving dad.
When I moved to the Carolinas several years ago, I was able to revive a personal interest in growing a vegetable garden. Each year when the days begin to lengthen and the sun warms the soil, I get an uncontrollable urge to get out in the dirt and scratch around like an old rooster looking for worms. Every year, I till dirt, scatter ashes, spread lime, mulch leaves, lay down slow-realize fertilizers -- all in an effort to give me soil that will produce a bumper crop of home-grown veggies. This year, I've got tomatoes, asparagus, lettuce, carrots, radishes, green beans, peppers, sweet corn, onions, cucumbers, squash, zucchini, okra and potatoes all struggling for survival in my little patch of land. If I stop spending money right now on fertilizers, garden tools, seeds, plants and other gardening "essentials", I'm guessing that my tomatoes (if I grow any) will only cost me about $4 a piece come July.
My dad used to infuriate me in that he would plow our garden when I was growing up in Missouri and then he'd recruit the rest of us kids to plant it, water it, hoe it, pick it, shuck or shell it and take it up to the house. We'd sit down at a dinner table with guests and he'd point out the fresh beans, corn on the cob, sliced tomatoes, cucumbers and onions and cantaloupe while mentioning that they all came from HIS garden. My sisters and I would sit in slack-jawed amazement wondering why we did what seemed like all the work and he got all the credit.
I've tried, over the years and with little success, to make gardening a family affair. My elementary-aged kids have been recruited to carry plants and to help me plant the seeds. My older kids have been assigned the pleasant task of tilling and hoeing. We'll all participate in picking the tomatoes and beans later on this summer, Lord willing. Mom will do a great job of boiling, steaming and slicing as we enjoy whatever harvest we have.
All of this makes me think of the work of the ministry. Paul took time in one of his epistles to reprimand territorialism and the tendency to attach oneself to a particular spiritual leader. He chastised the members of the early church for saying, "I follow Paul" or "I follow Apollos". He reminded them that some prepared the soil, some planted, some watered and God gave the increase.
I can lay out a perfectly designed garden. I can fertilize, plant, trim and week. I can wait, watch and layout baskets in which to college the produce. But if God doesn't send the rain and the sun -- there will be NO harvest.
Such is the way of a healthy church. I have the privilege of delivering the messages to our services each Sunday morning. But others invite guests, some will clean and set up the rooms, others will welcome folks at the door. From nursery workers to choir members, each are doing a bit of garden work that will hopefully bring a yield of souls into the family of God.
It should not be lost on us however, that unless the Lord gives the increase, all of our planning, programming and preparation are in vain. Too many of us (and I'm preaching to myself right now), tend to think that successful ministry is up to us and we forget to call upon the Lord of the Harvest for the yields HE desires. I wonder how many more people might come to Christ if we prayed as diligently as we practiced? Programming is no substitute for Holy Spirit Power in a church service.
I enjoy organization and administration. I love it when things flow in a church service. When message comes together and I deliver it comfortably, I take as much pleasure in it as a concern pianist does at the conclusion of a recital. One of my biggest and easiest mistakes, however, is to forget that if there is to be fruit, I can only do a limited amount. The most important part is up to the Lord.
There is a special joy that comes in seeing the fruit of our labors. I hope that you are part of the "gardening" in your local church. If you sing or play and instrument or go visiting or disciple someone or clean or preach or teach, every time a soul experiences the converting grace of Christ, you get to enjoy your role in the "harvest." We know that is wasn't just "us" that made it possible, bit sure is a privilege to be part of the gardening team.|W|P|114848058112261822|W|P|The Ministry of Gardening|W|P|jdpettus@gmail.com
As part of our "Missionary Christmas" celebration, we gave money for three guitars which the hill tribe pastors could use to lead worship in the village churches. Yesterday, I received a photo of those pastors as they received their guitars and I thought you would be blessed by it.
One of my favorite aspects of missions is to locate national pastors and to buy them the practical tools for their ministry. Over the years I've purchased lanterns, bicycles, mopeds, instruments, even a milk cow for national pastors. If you'd ever like to be part of this wonderful way of giving to national missions, drop me a line and I'll put you in contact with a need. Right now, I have the opportunity to purchase over 50 bicyles for Indian pastors and a milk cow for an African pastor. I'd love to help you make that happen!|W|P|114841154365135900|W|P|A Blessing for Northsiders|W|P|jdpettus@gmail.com Pastor Eldred|W|P|If I can "snoop in" on your closed circuit, I was blessed by the picture, too. My former church knows and supports Kiatisak and others in Thailand. Thanks for sharing the news and the photo!
A lot of people have asked me for my take on the DaVinci Code controversy. They want to know if I’ve read the book, am going to see the movie and if I’m going to preach some sermons on it. The answers to those questions are No, No and No. I watched Ed Hindson’s excellent rebuttal on Jerry Falwell’s TV program a few weeks ago and felt like he did a good job. I’ve read some of the blog articles that have come along and many of the media reports. But all in all, I find myself extremely bored by the whole thing.
People attacking the Gospel is really nothing new. It’s been done by secularists and religionists for years. Shoot….from my perspective, half the Christian denominations I know of are as guilty of besmirching the Gospel, denying Christ and polluting Scripture as is Dan Brown. I almost never read fiction, thus his book has never really held any interest to me. My only inclination to read it at all (and I doubt that I’ll act on it) is because I’ve seen so many others reading it and I want to be able to converse on it intelligently.
The Gospel will stand in spite of all that Hollywood, the media, the secular elite and those who are just flat-out hostile to the Truth do to twist it. Rather than tilting at every cultural windmill that comes along, I personally believe that teaching people the Truth will equip them to know a fraud, counterfeit or outright lie when they see it. As for how it will impact the perception of others who are not yet believers, I guess I’m enough of a Calvinist to believe that when the Elect come into contact with the Gospel and the Holy Spirit does His work in their hearts, it’s going to take a lot more than Opie, Tom Hanks and a boring movie to thwart what God wants to do in their life.
On another topic….
Wow! Someone once told me that if you want to stir up a cyber-hornet’s nest, make a snide remark about homeschool moms. Well, I’ve got another category to add to that – Suggest that people should put their kids in the church nursery. Some folks are taking me to the proverbial woodshed for an opening anecdote I gave as part of a larger article regarding parents who let their kids run their lives and homes. You can read it HERE.
I’ve been accused implicitly or outrightly of undermining the role of parental authority, being a Authoritarian Pastoral Tyrant, of not caring about the health and welfare of children and other crimes against humanity. (Yes folks, that is once again the ugly presence of hyperbole on this blog.) So, allow me a few more sentences to try and set the record straight or at least to invite a whole new tsunami of invectives in the comments sections.
First….lighten up, folks! Good grief. It’s just a blog. I’m a commentator. I use literary devices like hyperbole, sarcasm, irony and humor to keep you coming back. I’m not trying to be mean. I really have a pretty good sense of humor – although I will confess that it is whacky at times. If you sit under my preaching and teaching, you know that I enjoy using a lot of self-deprecation, wit and what I hope comes across as droll irony/sarcasm to illustrate and provoke thought in a light-hearted, yet influencing way. I did NOT intend to suggest that sacrificing children at the altar of the church nursery is necessary to obtain eternal life. (That was sarcasm, but I’m smiling while I’m typing.)
Let me be clear. I DO NOT think it is wise to put newborns into nurseries where they are sick kids or unsafe conditions. Most newborns sleep for the first six weeks anyway or until their eyes open. (Or is that kittens we’re talking about?) If your kid is running a fever, projectile vomiting or oozing fluids other than drool from any orifice, stay at home or in the hall, but please don’t infect the whole nursery. If your child has a chronic health problem that affects his ability to ward off bugs, then do what is right and healthy. Honestly, I’m not a lunatic (ie…Pat Robertson, but that’s another rant.)
What I AM saying is this…. People routinely use their kids as an excuse for skipping church. (Something happened in one of my blog comments and it ended up cutting some words which made it look like I said people almost usually use germs for their excuse. Some do, but others just can’t get over the separation anxiety.) When people neglect their own spiritual health, growth and ministry by using their kids as an excuse, it is wrong. Don’t even try to give me the ol’ “my-kids-ARE-my-ministry” argument. Of course they are, but they are not your ONLY ministry.
People who refuse to use a nursery because their kids whimper and cry when they first drop them off are exactly what I’m talking about as those who are letting their kids manipulate and lead them. Your child will not be ruined for life because he or she is cared for by a loving and qualified and screened nursery worker, but sheds a few tears as you walk away. If it continues or the child gets hysterical, then a good and wise nursery attendant will come find you. And if you are smart, you will work with them AND your child to train them so that you can go receive Biblical instruction and so that they can be cared for while you do.
People who bring their children into a worship service and then proceed to let them roam the aisles, play with keys, rip pages out of the hymnal and otherwise distract are rude. Plain and simple. If you haven’t tried to keep the attention of a couple of thousand people while a baby wails or rattles keys or dances in the aisle to the amusement of others, then you do not fully appreciate what I am saying. I have. It’s not fun and it IS rude. Take the kid out. Use the nursery. Be considerate.
Finally, pulling the “what’s-the-Biblical-mandate-for-nurseries?” card is beyond absurd. I could glibly say “How about ‘Let all things be done decently and in order.” Or better yet, “Obey those who have rule over you.” There are LOTS of things in the church that are not covered by specific injunctions or prohibitions. That’s where spiritual leadership is necessary and within its God-ordained and ordered responsibility to ensure that policies are put in place that are good for the ENTIRE body.
Let reasonableness prevail. And don’t refuse to acknowledge that there are, indeed, parents who ARE hiding behind the bibs of their kids, using them as an excuse for participating in the instruction and body life of the local church. And like it or not, it’s simply unbiblical.
Maybe for my next topic I’ll take on those who won’t get involved in any ministry or attend any class that doesn’t allow the husband and wife to sit right next to each other. But I’m not that brave today….
Again, a new topic….
Because I live in North Carolina and perhaps because my son’s room looks like a shrine to Duke University Basketball, I’ve been asked what I think about the controversy arising out of the alleged rape of the stripper by the Duke Lacrosse team. So with sweat on my palms, and insisting that you read ALL my thoughts on the topic, here’s my read on it…
If these boys weren’t rich white spoiled frat boys at an elite private University and if this alleged victim weren’t black, none of us would have heard about this. Let’s not deny this. Those who have made racism their way of earning a living have elevated this situation to a ridiculous level of attention through their grandstanding and pontificating. Someone will call me a racist for saying that, but I’ve just got the guts to say it outloud. 
Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton and their assorted lackeys know a good “press moment” when they see one and that’s why it’s in our headlines every day. This case has Tawana Brawley written over it and if you don’t know about that case, then do a websearch and learn your history.
This is a perfect example of grown men (not frat boys… grown men) behaving like boors. Rape or no rape, they were behaving like ill-bred animals and they should be ashamed. Booze, strippers, loud partying --- too bad their parents didn’t raise them better. There is no defense of their conduct, their values, the vile email that one of them sent, their perverted and wicked appetites and their arrogance. Rich or not – they are slimey.
Black or white, it doesn’t matter. What kind of mother strips for a living? Should we be shocked that a bunch of drunk fools responded like pigs in the presence of a sexually-loose woman who strips, dances and rubs herself all over them? Give me a break. She’s, as my momma’ used to say, a “hussy” or as my grandma used to say, “a strumpet” or as the teenagers say today, “a slut.” Don’t give me that whole “she was desperate…just trying to take care of her daughter…trying to earn her way through college” garbage. That insults every hard-working single-mom and college student who doesn’t sell her body, soul and spirit to idiotic and crazed men for money.
Bottom line – the whole thing is sickening. All of them deserve no respect. The district attorney is an opportunist. The team – all of them present that night – are pigs. And the stripper – well, no one deserves to be raped (if she was and there’s not a lot of evidence that says she was), certainly doesn’t deserve all the sympathy that some are sending her way. How about someone speaking up for personal responsibility and behaving like civilized adults? Is that too much to ask?
End of THAT rant….
Finally, I’ve been asked if I am more optimistic or less optimistic about how the Republicans will do in November than when I wrote my article, “Donkey’s Rising”.
The answer would be – less optimistic. The Republicans honestly have never looked more clueless than they do today. They continue to mishandle everything from tax reform to immigration reform to ethics reform. Jerry Falwell can make nice/nice with John McCain all he wants to, but I’m still trying to imagine the circumstances under which I’d vote for him. My memory is long and his attack on the Christian right was vicious. Frankly, I don’t trust him because the media likes him so much. I see no other rising star that represents my values on the horizon, so I anticipate sitting at home the next two national elections. I’ve never seen more dispirited lethargy among evangelicals in 25 years of active political activity. I fully predict that the Republicans will be swept from the House and I’d put a 50/50 odds of them losing the Senate. President Bush doesn’t seem to care and the Republican leadership honestly looks like the captains of the powder-puff football team. It’s really quite pathetic.
Well, that’s a wrap. As always, feel FREE to disagree and debate among yourselves. Just be nice and have a great week-end!|W|P|114805982170265692|W|P|Doing a Bit of Blog Housecleaning|W|P|jdpettus@gmail.com Dan Burrell|W|P|Well, Joyce....was it my shots at the "ministry" of Dan Brown or Al Sharpton in this post that upset you so?You accuse me of tearing others down and yet you proceed to do the same...let's see, I'm riding the coattails of "bigger men of God", I'm blowing out others candles so mine will look brighter and I'm lacking in grace and being judgemental? Wow....I'm guessing that you have the spiritual of gift of edification yourself.
Joyce, the world of blogging is a world of opinion. If you don't like the opinions, move on. As for me, I don't like to only read people that already agree with me. What's the good in that. If you'll notice in my masthead, I'm know to be one who challenges the "group-think" ways of many in fundamentalism and evangelicalism thus earning the disdain of some on both the right and the left of the spectrum.
I'm quite familiar with folks of your mentality. Please don't rock my preconceived notions with alternative thoughts, please don't question those I worship and follow after, please don't challenge me own traditions and biases and please, please...don't make me think!
Sorry....you stopped at the wrong blog. Academics, great thinkers and yes, even religious leaders running the gamut from prophets to theologians to academics, have enjoyed the intellectual sparring that comes with examination, challenging and give and take.
If what you believe cannot stand up to question or challenge, then it probably isn't worth all that much. So, with all due respect, I'll keep asking the tough questions, will absolutely continue to expose hyprocrisy and I will invite others to do the same. It's really quite interesting if you don't take it so personally.
Dan Burrell|W|P|Lyn,Thanks for your follow-up. Per your decision to drop it, I won't engage you further though we still disagree. But that's OK...I'm not the font of all wisdom and I'm sure you have a good reason for feeling the way you do even if I respectfully see it differently.
As for hurting my feelings, it didn't happen. Shoot, I've been a pastor for 17 years. You don't survive in that role for that long if you can get your feelings hurt over a disagreement.
My best to you and your family.
Matthew Woodside|W|P|Pastor Burrell, Thanks for standing up to spoiled parents; black opportunists; rich, white frat boys, for not going with the "preaching trends" that revisit the same tired 2000 year old heresy regarding Jesus' "marriage". Thanks for demonstrating that being theologically and politically conservative does not mean that you have to agree with Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson.
Thanks for being the thinking man's fundamentalist.
Dan Burrell|W|P|Hey Sleepgirl,You wrote... "We did not have to take an "exam" to see if we passed to join the church. All we had to do was to accept Jesus as our Savior. This whole "religion" thing makes me sick. We have to take classes and pass exams to join a church."
Not knowing who you are, where you live or anything about your background, I wanted to just leave a brief follow-up to your questions/comments.
I'm not quite sure what, in anything I've written in my blog articles, brought up the idea of "classes" and "exams" to join a church.
Our church certainly does not require an "exam" to join. We do, however, require prospective members to take a class. There is a definite purpose in that...in fact, several purposes.
First, we want to be very careful that folks who join our church do not think they are "joining" the family of God when they join Northside. Part of our 101 class is a review and explanation of God's plan of salvation and we ask all our new members to share their testimony so that we are sure they are on their way to heaven. Wouldn't it be tragic to have someone join the church and to find out later they didn't even know the Lord?
We also believe that obedience Christians have been bapized. Everytime we offer our membership class, we explain baptism and folks realize that they have never been baptized scripturally and we encourage them be baptized. The last class I taught -- fully 20% of those who attended had not been baptized.
Finally, we want them to know "who we are." They are not joining a social club or even a church with some sort of vague purpose or goal. We are very specific about who we are, what we believe and where we are headed. NBC is not for everyone....isn't it better to find that out prior to joining so that one can make an intelligent and informed decision? People can (and lot's do) regularly attend and participate in our church who are not members. Membership represents a commitment to the local family of believers and because of that, I think it is a good idea to spend a few hours getting to know each other.
I honestly have never heard of a church that requires a test or exam to join. I do believe that taking some time to share the philosophy, getting to know each other and making a careful and prayerful decision about membership is a good thing however.
Dan
Matthew Woodside|W|P|Regarding the post of sleepygirl: We are supposed to be able to pass exams to be part of the fellowship of the church (both local and universal). Those exams are called "living a faithful life." John writes, "By this we know that we have come to know Him, if we keep His commandments. The one who says. 'I have come to know Him,' and does not keep His commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But whoever keeps His word, in him the love of God has truly been perfected; by this we know that we are in Him; the one who says he abides in Him ought himself to walk in the same manner as He walked. (1 John 2:3-6)" We are called to "examine ourselves" to see if we really believe the things we profess, especially before taking part in the Lord's Supper (2 Corinthians 13:5). Membership in the church is reserved for people who believe right and act right. Membership in a church is reserved for those that love God, know His Son and keep His commandments.
The problem is not that the church is too analytical and discriminating; the problem is that the church is not discriminating enough. The church too readily accepts members, grants transfers of letters, ordains pastors and deacons and appoints teachers and officers.
It would be great if we could just accept everyone based on their "profession of faith in Jesus," but in our pluralistic culture a belief in Jesus could mean anything. Thus, churches have a biblical mandate to examine potential members for what they believe doctrinally and for what the practice in their lives. As was the case when John wrote, people believed in Jesus but they either did not believe He was divine or that He did not come in the flesh.
This lack of discrimination is one of the reasons that churches are in the messes that they are in. Gossip, heresy, strife, and divisions can be traced to a lack of discerment on the leadership's part. When these things start, they must immediately be handled. The best way, however, to handle these issues, especially the heresy issue, is through intense examination of people who want to be members.
This is the purpose of membership classes, theological counseling, and doctrinal questions. Pastors are to be shepherds of God's true sheep. Too often wolves pose as sheep, devouring God's flock. If a person objects to questions regarding their doctrine or beliefs, that immediately raises a red flag with me. No one is above questioning; even Paul's doctrine was examined by the Bereans (Acts 17).
Jesus is not a open door to everybody, regardless of what our culture might preach. He is a narrow way that leads to life, and few may find it (John 14:6 and Matthew 7:13-14). Likewise, churches are not wide gates that let everybody in. They are commanded to be discerning, a task God has ordained for the leadership (pastors,elders and deacons) of the church (2 Timothy 2:14-19). This is a painful and often difficult task, but a necessary one if we want to protect the truth.
Dan Burrell|W|P|"Joyce" revealed "herself" to be a troll with her final post and she's been banned. A troll is someone who uses an internet identity to assume someone that they really aren't to play games with people. I have very liberal posting rules, but I don't tolerate trolls and those who are abusive or just so extreme in their accusations or positions that I consider them disruptive or dangerous.Thus, no more "Joyce". Only the third identity I've banned from my blog.
For example, there are several families in our church that absolutely, positively will not place their child (ranging in ages from 6 weeks to 3 years) in the nursery or childcare. I'm familiar with the over-protective "first-child" syndrome, though my wife and I never participated in it. The idea is that placing one's otherwise healthy child in a church nursery is sure to infect the little darling with some fatal or near-terminal disease and one must wait until their little immune systems are capable of warding off an attack -- you know, like when they are mid-way through puberty.
But beyond that, these are folks who have placed their child or toddler into the arms of a loving, screened and experienced nursery worker to see that child's lip quiver or eyes fill with tears and believe that to leave them there will in someway traumatize them to the extent that it will require years of therapy to undo the damage. Thus, in spite of the fact that our nurseries are in the same wing as is the worship center, that we have message-capable vibrating beepers available, that we have a numerical calling system mounted in, not one but two places in, the auditorium and that we have a wonderful ratio of children to workers in place, they chose to sit in lobbies watching the service on video feed or simply roaming the halls carrying the little darling with them.
I don't mean to sound mean or mocking, but honestly, I would like to know if they have the same "high standard" for separation anxiety when it comes time for them to go to work on Monday or when they have to go shopping or if it's date night or what about when the kid needs to go to school? Or could it be that it's just a way to cut out of church because of a spiritual issue? To me, it's just an unhealthy symptom of a culture that places its children on pedestals and which creates an unrealistic expectation on the part of the child that the world revolves them and their immediate needs.
I am regularly stunned at examples that cross my attention of parents who are unwilling or unable to accept the fact that they are supposed to be the leaders in their own homes. I frequently hear of and observe situations of conflict and catastrophe wherein kids are seemingly managing or controlling the lives of their parents rather than the other way around.
As the father of four cookie-munchers myself, I can assure you that parenting is indeed a stressful and tiring role. I'm never tired of being a parent, but I am often tired as a parent. Earning a living, providing care, juggling schedules, coordinating transportation, training, following up, checking homework, attending ball games, wiping snotty noses, taking temperatures and a thousand other facets of parenting fill our days with an exhausting pace. And I'm experiencing this from the perspective of the husband of a stay-at-home mom! I honestly don't know how single parents do it without collapsing.
One of the reasons we survive in our busy home is due to my firm belief that when God gave me children, He also put me in charge of them. Therefore every day, I must make decisions that aren't always easy or popular, but which need to be made by the grown-up in charge and for better or worse, that happens to be me.
I'm glad the role of "FATHER" isn't an elected position as I'm sure I wouldn't make re-election on three days out of four. Most days, I'd be voted out of office faster than you can say "Gray Davis". Whether it's limiting the number of outside activities in which we allow our children to participate, to enforcing bedtime, to dishing out punishment, to insisting that each person make their own bed and clean up their own place at the dinner table, little of which I direct and decide in my own home is met with admiring approval and cried of "Yes, oh wise and benevolent father!" Pastor's children argue, pout, resist and sneak just like anyone else's kids do and I often find it easier to manage the one hundred and seventy-plus staff members at our ministry and the needs of nearly three thousand church members than I do managing my own household.
That said, I'm not trying to be discouraging or negative. I am saying that any parent who has a desire to rear their children with strong values, a moral conscience, a love for the things of God, an appreciate for their role in God's economy, good character and personal discipline must be ready, willing and able to take the mantel of leadership in their home.
That means saying "NO" and meaning "NO." It requires us to give up things that we'd like to do (like rest, watch TV and reading sometimes) in order to follow-through with training by "inspecting what we expect." Leadership will sometimes mean that not everyone is going to be happy, understand or agree. Leadership sets standards, trains toward specific goals, adjusts and influences attitudes, evaluates growth and develops plans. Leaders is proactive, not reactive. Leadership must show initiative, set the pace and provide an example.
Much of what we see in the lives of our children is merely a reflection of what they have seen in us. Negative parents rear negative children. Fearful parents real fearful children. Parents who resist authority in their life rear children who are often rebellious and angry. Parents who have a hands off approach to life rear children who float, struggle and flounder.
Leadership provides security. During times of crisis, they might not have a ready answer, but they exude confidence, concern and commitment....qualities that children need from their parents. Leadership does not vacillate, nor does it merely dictate. It inspires. It functions by principle. It isn't afraid to be in charge.
Kids need leadership in their lives and that leadership needs to come from their parents. Not their friends, not the media, not the school, not the entertainment industry, but good ol' mom and dad. That's the way God structured it and it is impossible to improve on it. Do your kids a favor and provide them with consistent direction, leadership and accountability. Don't let them manipulate and coerce you with fits, tears and temper-tantrums. Don't be afraid to be in charge. They may not like you today, but they'll love you forever if you will.|W|P|114798481900190118|W|P|Leaders @ Home|W|P|jdpettus@gmail.com Dan Burrell|W|P|Sorry, Lyn....I'm still not buying it. Kids get sick. The get sick from daycares, from going to the doctor's office for immunizations, from church nurseries, from sitting in the buggy at the supermarket. That's life. I'm not suggesting that parents should be careless. If your child is ill -- of course, keep it out of the nursery. If they have an immunity deficiency, then of course, precautions should be taken.
But again...if every person in our church adopted your philosophy of hyper-protectionism, then we'd have 150-175 kids milling about the halls with their parents or being disruptive in church.
I fully understand training a child to sit in church and behave. We've been through it four times. I think it is admirable for parents to train their children at a reasonably early age to get something out of church. We started ours at about 3. But we also sat near and exit, brought age-appropriate activities and distractions for them and made sure that they weren't being disruptive.
As with all things, common sense should be a guide. But a parent, who refuses to ever use a church nursery because of the potential of picking up a bug, is demostrating exactly the kind of "child first" mentality that leads to what I discussed in my article.
But as always, anyone can feel to disagree... I don't tell people they aren't welcome at my church if they refuse to use the ministry. It's just a characteristic of a broader problem in my humble opinion.
Dan Burrell|W|P|You assume that I don't know their motivations. I'm fully aware of what motivates the vast majority of those who refuse to use a nursery -- it's over protectionism. (And it's because I or someone in our leadership has asked them -- why aren't you using the nursery?) But there's a tremendous inconsistency that's easily uncovered which I pointed out in my response. It's generally exclusively that germophobia kicks in. Rarely does it apply at other places. I'm sorry -- when such inconsistency occurs, it's hard to take their protestations and rationale seriously.Beyond that, I'd say I often see where it leads. It's the same mentality that I've watched homeschoolers adopt over time which eventually leads them to drop out of church in order to protect their kids from outside influences. (Before you over respond to my use of the homeschooler analogy, know that we homeschooled for seven years.) Much of the "home church" movement is an outgrowth of over-protectionism in many homeschool circles. (I just KNOW that's going to generate some angry emails to me. sigh.)
I find it difficult that I am sounding like one who doesn't believe in sheltering their kids. My children would howl at the idea that I was suggesting that a parent should be protective as they consider me to be obsessively controlling on outside influences.
I don't want to get completely bogged down in a dialogue with you over the nursery anecdote....we'll just agree to disagree. The bigger point is this....
Many, many parents today allow their children -- tacitly or implicity -- to so dominate their life, their agenda that they fail to give proper guidance and direction to them. I realize I apparently struck a tremendous nerve with you in the opening paragraphs. That was not my intent obviously.
But I still believe both my illustration and my main point are worthy of consideration. Again, and as always, it's just my opinion.
Thanks for reading!
DaCatster|W|P|At my church every child under the age of 3 has to be in the nursery. I don't disput that. As an ER RN in a pediatric hospital, I do think it is unwise for parents to place their baby in the nursery for at least the first 6 weeks. Nothing like a little fever in a neonate, babe under 6 weeks that won't result in a spinal tap and 2 days in the hospital. If I even had another baby, I would opt staying at home them putting my baby through the risk of menigitis.
That is my 2cents
Christy|W|P|It's seems so interesting to me that we have become so "over-protective" as a society when it suits our needs. Didn't our parents put us in the nursery, take us to the grocery store and let us play in the rain and mud? When we put our child's needs in front of ourselves (in the sense of not using the nursery) we are robbing ourselves of the spiritual blessings and the commands from our Lord to not foraske the assembling of ourselves together. I for one have 3 boys, each has spent time in the nursery, but I wouldn't want to guess where I'd be spritually if for the last 8 years I was walking the halls and sitting in the lobby instead of being under sound spiritual teaching. Not to mention robbing those nursery workers who have felt called by God to minister to our children. Aren't you basically saying my child is "too good" for the nursery or these people are not careful enough to care for my child so that he would become ill at their hands? Gordon|W|P|As another pastor, let me say that I support Bro. Burrell's comments. In my years in the pastorate, the number of children that I have seen getting sick in a nursery is incredibly low to the point of almost being non-existent.As he has, I too have questioned parents as to why they do not use the nursery. The answer is almost always what he said.
On the other hand, one of my members recently testified in our church what a blessing the nursery had been to her. Her granddaughter was born with a crack addiction. She had to raise the baby who did nothing but cry incessantly for the first year and a half of her life. This member stated that were it not for the blessing of the nursery ministry that gave her one hour on Sunday morning to sit quietly and focus on the Lord, she would have lost her sanity.
Unknown|W|P|Pastor, I think you found a hot topic!As the father of a 6 year old and a 3 year old, I have to say I agree with Pastor Burrell. I think the picture he is painting is one of a "child-centric" family...that's the epidemic. The nursery example is a symptom of the epidemic. It's not that ALL parents in the lobby are coddling their children - but some of them likely are. Speaking of which, I've been in the lobby with my kids too. There are valid reasons.
I'd like to add that if you're child is sick...don't bring them to the nursery...especially if your church has streaming video or other means that keep the nurseries clean and the adults in worship.
(One other thing: Dan never suggested that you should put a child younger than 6 weeks in the nursery)
Gordon|W|P|Lyn, you are right that my comment was anecdotal. I was simply trying to point out something from my experience that corroborated with the arguments Bro. Burrell was making.You said:
Since the church nursery has no Biblical mandate, upon what Scripural authority can pastors rightly utilize sarcasm, hyperbole, and peer pressure to bring fathers into conformity with church traditions against their best judgment?
I don't think anyone has tried to use Scriptural authority, sarcasm, hyperbole or peer pressure to make anyone do anything here. Bro. Burrell was trying to make a point that some (not all) parents are overly concerned about their children to the point of making them the center of their lives rather than what might be the best for all involved.
Unknown|W|P|Brent and Lyn,I personally appreciate you stating your reasons for your actions. (Not that you owe them to me). I guess the one thing I want to ask is this:
Do you agree that there is an issue among many Christian families where they put their children in the center of their lives and often consequences follow?
If your answer is yes, then there really isn't much of an issue here other than a disagreement on how Dan delivered it.
Regarding your comment about "independent funadamental churches": I think you'd find that Northside breaks from this stereotype much like some families may break from the pattern Dan has mentioned regarding nurseries and worship. Perhaps his sarcastic delivery at times wouldn't be for you, but the teaching is solid and I personally do not feel oppressed by our leadership. (I would have never thought I would end up in an Independent Fundamentalist Baptist church).
Mike Hess|W|P|Dan,I enjoyed your post. I have very little familiarity with PCC other than a few graduates that I know who are very solid and effective in their respective ministries.
However, I have seen a trend with PCC along with other fundamentalist institutions that you and I would be quite familiar with - control, lack of biblical support for preference, demand for loyalty, casting out the road kill, and divisiveness in their spirit towards those who disagree.
It will be exciting to see how Schettler does outside of the realm of the PCC world. I think he will be fine. Though I would part ways with Schettler rather strongly with his KJVO stand and regarding the doctrines of grace, I nevertheless believe that he is solid and will do well. Most who leave the walls of institutions usually do well with the liberty of serving in the local church.
Mike
MGROOP|W|P|I was a student during what I would consider a major transition period. I personally saw Dr. Greg Mutsch, Dr. Johnson, and Pastor Jeff Redlin leave. Now Pastor Schettler and Dr. Beemer are leaving. Also I have heard a strong rumor that Dr. Bruce Hockema is also leaving this summer (Dr. Hockema is Dean of Arts and Sciences and Executive Assistant to the VP, as well as an awesome Math teacher). These are all men that I respect highly, and with so many leaving so quickly, it begs the question...why?There has been a lot of talk recently about PCC dropping it's standards and trying to reach out to "today's youth", it makes on wonder if this true.
..|W|P|This is Your Day(town) said... something negative about PCC regarding Ivan, that they didn't care for anyone else, just their image.I am no big fan of PCC, what they do right is good, what they do wrong, is wrong.
But they did open their camp and campus hotel up to rescue workers and such like during and after Ivan.
Fed them also.
Dan Burrell|W|P|Hey Belgirl...You know, no matter how many times I hear it used, the ol' "If you don't like it just get out" response to people who have sincere disagreement over issues of Biblical and philosophical principle just always seems to be lacking in intellect and grace. But hey....if it works for you... patrick mitchell|W|P|belgirl said: "Perhaps time would be better spent attacking schools like Harvard and Yale who do more to warp a young person's psyche in one year, then all the PCC's in this world would do in a lifetime."i would have to COMPLETELY disagree with that statement. i believe that i could prove through examples that pcc is MORE dangerous than harvard or yale and pcc has definitely contributed to the screwing up of hundreds, maybe thousands of lives. if faced with the choice i would choose to send my own children (one day) to harvard or yale instead of pcc.
I have written several articles on the dangers of places that this generation of teens tend to congregate in the Cyberworld. Much of the focus as been on MySpace.com and similar such "meet and greet" sites. Here's another one you might want to consider. Phil Johnson, over at Team Pyromaniacs, has issued a warning regarding a portal which leads to a site which promotes teens adopting the "Goth" culture. You can find the article HERE. Sadly, the site Phil exposes is partially sponsored by none other than McDonalds. Take the time to read this expose' of yet another door into darkness found on the internet.|W|P|114774262246927252|W|P|Another Warning for Parents of Web-Surfing Kids|W|P|jdpettus@gmail.com
The is the sign for the 1st Baptist Church of Myrna (sp?), whose building we helped construct during trips in 2001 and 2004. Our first team helped construct the exterior walls and the second team helped complete much of the finish work. It is a blessing to see this vibrant church in action today.
Here's the interior of the church worship area. When completed, the church we worked on this year will look similar except that the building is a little larger.
Jeff Abernethy, one of our home missionaries and a Northsider, was able to share his testimony with 1st Baptist and Bethel Baptist Churches as he told of how he was evacuated from fields in Africa twice in a decade due to civil unrest. Today, he has a wonderful campus ministry at UNCC and still has a tremendous passion for missions of every kind.
On Sunday afternoon, our team broke into small groups of three or four and had lunch in Brazilian homes where we enjoyed authentic Brazilian cuisine and warm Brazilian hospitality.
Stepping off the bus, we look at the footers that have been poured and begin getting organized for block laying and other site preparation tasks.
Great stacks of terra cotta block awaited us as we prepared to build the walls.
"See....Pastor's DO know how to do manual labor!"
One of the toughest and dirtiest jobs on the site was the cutting of the blocks and Tom and Chad Abernethy took on this task for the entire week.
Shade was needed from the Brazilian sun, so Pastor Barry Shearer tries out this little oasis in the middle of the job site.
Here the team of Hargett, Lovinggood and Burrell show off their block laying skills assisted by their faithful Brazilian assistant with Missionary Nathan Fray providing supervision.
A hot and hearty breakfast, prepared by our missionaries and Brazilian ladies, was ready for us each morning before heading to work.
Team Northside -- 2006 -- Sao Paulo, Brazil
Twice we visited a Brazilian Steak House where for about $8 USD, you could eat ALL the deliciously-prepared (rotissary-style) meat you could hold. Chad prepares to enjoy some great Brazilian beef!
Friday morning, the men insisted that they wanted to return to the site before leaving in order to pour the support beam that goes around the entire building. This is a key transition point in the project and the men had to work very hard to get to reach this goal.
Here's the project as we left it -- well on the way and ready for the next team to arrive. We anticipate returning in the next year or so to work on finishing the exterior.
The city of Sao Paulo with an estimated 25 million souls is one of the great metropolises of the world and this field is ready for the Gospel.
I couldn't help but think as I looked over the city that we could start a church every day for the rest of my lifetime and there still wouldn't not be enough in this teeming city that continues to grow.
Here's something that I thought was great....these four men are all from one family -- brothers, father/son, and brother-in-law. Don't you think that doing ministry as a family is a great way to strengthen bonds and do something that will create memories for all eternity?
And finally, we're heading back home from the Sao Paulo Airport....tired, a little sunburned and sore, and delighted to have invested a week for the cause of Christ through missions.|W|P|114772828425428163|W|P|Pictures from our Recent Mission to Sao Paulo|W|P|jdpettus@gmail.com Gordon|W|P|These pictures are inspiring. What a ripe field to be harvested. May the Lord of the harvest send laborers. jewellpage|W|P|Thanks for sharing your pix of Brasil. I too am a missionary in Sorocaba (on furlough just now) and am a bit homesick for Brazil.Mike